Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
