I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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