And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
