Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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