I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
