i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
