dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
