All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
