Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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