I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
