i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
