The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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