you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
