A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I'm passing your future prison.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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