All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
