I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
