All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
