shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you didnt know i had herpes?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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