yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
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But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
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Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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