i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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