well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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