when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
