Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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