Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
