if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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