So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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