the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
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I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
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My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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