google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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