I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
