Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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