a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize