last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
