Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
drinking out of a sandbucket again
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
