Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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