So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
