What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
