so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
