Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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