do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
