I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
