i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Randomize
