i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
