You just made me feel so damn special
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
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