K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
