He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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