He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
