apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
dude. I can hear the air.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
