So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
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I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
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I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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