I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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