Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
