Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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