remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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