READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
