Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
