Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
