i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Randomize
