Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
