Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
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