You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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