help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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