dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
