Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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