so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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