you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
