We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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