just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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