whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
