apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
